1+1=∞

“Communication problem. ”  When we were cooking at Lucia’s place, Jack accidentally mixed the wrong ingredients. We were worried as it is not going with our plan. In the end I have to accept the reality and do some adjustment. Luckily, the dishes taste as good as my original plan.

There are so many mis-communication in our life. You could mix the wrong food, pick up the wrong luggage, mistake the meeting time and date or put the chemical in a wrong place but the result varies. Could be still nice and tasty dish, could be a missing bag, could be a waste of a few hours’ time or could be anexplosion. And when you look back to the problem of miscommunication, it is always clear and you can always find the source of miscommunication.

There is one communication that is not as simple as that. You have some instantaneous response to the other person, but hold on for a second, you don’t know why you response this way. Logically it might not be the best suitable response, but it just happens. When you try to investigate the reason why you have this kind of response, it is like plunging into an abyss. The more you try to explain, the more complicated it becomes.

  

There is an English song “When you say nothing at all”. When she says nothing, she expresses using something more than words can do. Interestingly, there is a Chinese song, “一切尽在不言中”. Say nothing, but it is understood by everyone. And it is best to say nothing. That must become the highest skill in human interaction. Most of the time, even a lot of words have been said, communication is still a problem.

Passed by Orchard road last weekend and saw a huge post on the wall. It tells people tthat the gift is not just a gift, it is the effort put into the gift to make it such a beautiful thing in the given season. Similarly, communication is not just communication, it is the effort put into the understanding of the other person that matters. Logic might be a good thing, but human emotion is never following the logic.

I don’t talk cat and I don’t understand the cats’ logic. But Da Chou Xiao Chou and me have so much dynamics together – and we love each other so much!

     

I feel this one from YouTube is not the original one. But anyway...
ABBA has a song called Fernando.
I know little about the names, but when Google Alejandro, it is always some sexy Latin American male faces. And Fernando are some for south Europe and some what Latin American males. Well... I think Spenish is a sexy language, so do the male names...

OO said this time when I fell asleep, I was doing linear algebra - Using QR or LU decomposition to get triangular matrix...and then said, "I forgot to change the unit..." then had my finger beside my lips and kept that position in my dreams... OK.. this week I have done enough physics and maths..

Party time!!!

Waken up from various wild dreams and headache. The morning of the only birthday I spent by myself, I lightened the candles and sing a song for myself.  

Happy Birthday to Myself

 

It is a sad song. Did not cry did not cross the 12 midnight awaken, did not turn off the handphone as the song, I like the melody.

 

Just headache. I think I am just too tired. Slept at 8pm last night, after biking almost half of the Singapore. There were rainstorm and angry billows in my dreams. There was loneliness of being abandoned. There was almost happy reunion but I waken up, found out I am still a person by myself, and two cats.

I hate all the holidays: term breaks, mid autumn, Chinese new year, birthday and many others with a meaning to me. I guess that every birthday I flew away is a form of escape. Holiday itself bears expectations. And I hate expectation. The more I expect, the worse it is going to be. And this especially true when I am in a relationship.

So, happy birthday to myself, and good morning, gloomy sunday morning.

P.S. Ar ya… I am writting it in such way that sounds so sad. I am fine. Just being emotional. If somebody can lend me his/her homework to copy I will be much happier~

“大臭”and “小臭” have their official names, but they are not “sound” and “loud”enough to be called…

“Da Chou”and “Xiao Chou”are two black CAT… so black that except the EYEs that you see nothing.

When their naughty secrect has been found..

Well.. Xiao Chou of coure will tell us what happend, she has a “BIG mouth”.

Not only dogs can have their tougues out.. cats can, too.

West coast park is quite a hot place…

 

Although at the beginning it was difficult for me to identify who is Midnight and who is Selene, soon they showed their different characters. Selene is the sister, who likes to play with Midnight and is a quiet and trouble-free girl. Midnight is the brother. He likes to cling around the human and pulled my dustbin down twice. Both are quite smart that they know that I don’t like them to get onto my bed.

 

While I am typing, Midnight is sitting beside me on the floor, meowing that he needs my attention. So cute!

When Midnight pulled down my dustbin, I decided to be strict to him. And I realized that I was talking English to them… Actually, shouldn’t that be Chinese?

Midnight and Selene moved in today and became my new roommates. Guess what they look like? There is a reason that the previous fosterer called them Midnight and Selene. They are cute, fun-loving mates, full of energy and like to jump around. I cleaned my floor for their arriving, as they are likely to go every corner of my room and step dust everywhere.

At the beginning they were shy and kept themselves in the cage even I opened the door for them. Soon they started to play with each other in their new home. It is just the nature of kittens. Glad that they have each other so I don’t need to worry about their social life too much.

After they had their first drink, snack and first pee (they even go to toilet together…), they know where to find food, water and toilet. I am ok to let them play alone with themselves now. Guess they had a long day and want to have a rest now. They prefer the floor under my sofa instead my carpet.

Good boy and good girl. Good night.

I want some change. I have been in school for so many years, and I am going to stay here for a long time. Time seems to stop here, that you are forever, a student. That is not a bad thing, at least for girls, you might still as young and naive as a student. A high school student is a student; a college student is a student; a Ph.D student, is still a student.

I want attention. I want that when I go out with my boyfriend, people look at me instead of looking at my boyfriend. He is the leaf and I am the only shiny delicate rose that deserves attention.

Boyfriend is some reason to drag me out of campus during the weekend. But for somebody constantly seeking for novelty, the usual dating schedule of video game + movie is getting boring. Once dating becomes a routine, the fun of dating has all gone. The week before you could say, stay with you for the weekend is the best time in the week I have. The week later you might speak to yourself, o god, I am sick of doing the same thing again.

Therefore I want some change.

“I want to go out before everything close.” OO was getting impatient. I was still in the bathroom doing my final adjustment. First time wig-wearing is always a challenge, especially somebody is pushing to get out the room. When I got out the room, OO finally found his peace from the video game and didn’t even look at me. Man. I bet if you gave them a few copies of video games and a ton of coke and potato chips (for OO, maybe oats and milk), they can lock themselves in the room for years.

When finally he had his eyes on me, the surprise was not what I wanted. “Er… I should say I am not a fun of wig. ” That is all he said! Maybe my eye make-up was a bit heavy, my lips were too pinky, but my wig is great! It is $$expensive$$! Ok, maybe not all expensive things are good, but I did put some effort to find a wig that fits for me.

Who cares the fake hair, fake eye lushes, heavy eye make-up and pinky lips, I deliberately wanted to be in this way. I was happy about myself, and I dressed up for myself. I have passed the year of teens, but I have the quality to be as fresh as Lolita. I am not some old folk with wrinkled forehead and neck, flabby cheeks and dark eye bags. Why not, be young and beautiful when you still can? Why not, show off your youth and beauty?

I had my Lolita dress and make-up. That is not enough to attract attention. I need something more significant. A hat, found in ION, is the perfect match for me dress and make-up. Thank goodness there was finally a thing that both OO and I agree the aesthetics.

Therefore the old Lolita was born. Walked passed Bugis, the arts museum and until reached Orchid road. People looked at me, and they found a lovely girl. With fake hair, fake eye lushes and heavy eye makeup: they still consider this is really cute!

But there are something that is not fake, my smile and my inner energy of youth. That is my magic. This makes me think about those 老巫婆,  as in the story, they are presented as young and charming when they still have their magic power. Only when the god damn prince destroy their power, they become old and ugly.

Day 193

Life is getting busier. And life with OO is getting more and more inseparable.

Although one is not good in using sentimental expression, if there is truely the love, it can be feel - you don't need to pretend, it is there, naturally.
I know sometimes I mess up things - most of the time, emotionally.
-- eg. a happy weekend could end up with complaint just becuase somebody did not walk you to the MRT.
-- eg. a supposely tearful farewell might lost its significance as when you walk to the MRT and found out your wallet is still in the room.

When you mess up your emotion, who is going to clean them? You.
But the love one come, with the mighty broom that brush awayes the trash, with the powerful blow that blows away the dark clouds.
He makes you cry - tears, and joyful tears. 

BFmania for 178 days? There must be a reason.

=D

It might or might not be by instinct, but I feel a mature woman starts awakening inside me.Thanks OO. It is your love that makes me feel beautiful.